Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Weenus Was The First Blow

Weenus Testing

Remember when I shared with you about the WEENUS TEST....my daughter's old-detection test? To update yourself on Tween nonsense go here and read about it. And test yourself... I dare you, and then, I wish you luck. I failed miserably so don't feel bad if it didn't snap back like the old days

Strike One.

The other day, my daughter and I were hanging out and gabbing while I drank my morning coffee and she suddenly looked at me with great admiration and said, " Mom, your crow's feet look so pretty."

Strike Two.

Later that day, I'm lying in bed and my son comes and snuggles with me. We are in a sweet embrace and he looks at me with great admiration and says, "Mom, that hair that's growing between your eyebrows.... is that called a uni brow?"

Strike Three.

I'm not sure anymore about the look of great admiration. I am now thoroughly convinced that it is evil child-ness. Or just the plain truth. Now I understand the curse that my parent's wished on me when I gave them hell (although I was a pure angel before I turned 15 - no joke).

First I'd like to say, to my daughter's credit, she said she thought my crow's feet were beautiful because it was proof that I was a happy person and smiled a lot in my life. My son? Well, he has no excuse. Yes, my mother's side of the family is from Transylvania (Eastern Europe where Dracula was from) and they are eyebrow wonders of the universe over there. I am very good about keeping myself uni brow-free. I pluck every week. Otherwise, I might look like Frida Kahlo. But then, she is from Mexico and I am clearly not.


So go ahead and have children, but if you are vain, be very very careful, because your inflated sense of self will be gasping for air on the floor while you are trying to understand how these beautiful little babies that were godsends before today, clearly just took your youth right out from under you. Watch your step. You might trip on a saggy piece of skin hanging off of your body.



12 comments:

dcyrill said...

Hilarous. My son constantly reminds me about my kangaroo pouch, oh I mean my protruding stomach that he snuggles against and then pinches the fat under his precious two yr old fingers. They are innocent but brutally honest.

egassner said...

Lol...I nearly wet myself (IS that a sign too?!)
My 3yr old is becoming very aware of people and their image...tummy to b e exact. We're trying to teach her it's nots not ok to ask everyone if that is a baby in their belly

Joanna Schmidt said...

Oh, yeah, and that is something we should all never ask....I did that once when I was pregnant. Yikes!

>P

Carrie Garvin said...

OMG Joanna~ this is just priceless...

Hugs to you all!

koinonia community said...

When I was pregnant with my second, my first told me my butt was too big for our toilet and that we needed to try to find a bigger one. I get insulted daily...all in the name of love. So much for a positive self-image.

Anonymous said...

Bwahahaha!! I'm laughing with you. ;) I will never let my kids know about the weenus test...like I need yet another thing to remind me that I'm old.

Suds to Love said...

Gosh, getting old certainly has it's downsides, but at least we are much wiser having lived those years already!

Anne-Marie said...

Hilarious, funny and for what it's worth, I'm sure a unibrow is a sign of someone with innate intelligence and creativity beyond compare. =)

Sarah said...

Your kids sound like mine!!! Mine will ask me if there was color back when I was a kid...you know, back in the "black & white days".

Joanna Schmidt said...

Oh Sarah,

My daughter thought there was no tv at all! I told her we had no computers, too. That did it. I am officially officially OLD!

:P

Leslie said...

Yep..I guess I am old too! My elbow skin thing failed!!!!
Did you forget about our trade? What did you want me to make you?

Leslie said...

Yep..I guess I am old too! My elbow skin thing failed!!!!
Did you forget about our trade? What did you want me to make you?