Friday, July 11, 2008

The WEENUS Test


jo sparkle



This is what I have to say about getting older.

I like the wisdom, experience, humility, the friends I have made and time I've been here, but FE! to all the ickies I am beginning to notice: the grey hairs popping up on my head (the top of my head no less. Couldn't it start near the BACK of my head first, so I don't have to look at them every time I look in the mirror?), the lack of skin elasticity I am starting to notice, the weird *snap* in my ankle I hear every time I walk... step, *snap* step, *snap* step, *snap* - what is that anyway!!?? ...the fact that gravity is actually beginning to annoy me, the significant decrease in me taking risks, the fact that I can't ride roller coasters now without imaginating my death with great detail as I fall from the ride, my realization that death is inevitable and everyone dies, the
undeniable lack of glances I receive from men, and the complete absence of needing to show my I.D. for any adult goings-ons. There are so many other things I can't even think of right now.

So here's a scary test. I have been told by an 11 year old that the skin on your elbow is called a WEENUS (yeah, I know) and that it is a true indication of one's age. Oh, really? Well, if you straighten your arm and pull the fattest piece of that skin away form the body, the speed in which it retracts tells you RIGHT THERE if you are old. If I pull mine out, I have to kind of push it back, because it doesn't snap back very easily. It is slow going. So apparently I failed the young WEENUS test. I am officially old. Whatever.

I must roll with it.

OK, so these are my birthday hopes for the next year: I give my children all the love and support they could possibly need,
I make more true friends, I eat more veggies, I focus, I stop to smell the roses, I make more money, take more pictures and I remind myself (thanks to daughter Nina- the 11 year old who came up with the old telling test in which I FAILED) that "yesterday was the past, tomorrow isn't here and today is the present - so treat it like a present, a gift." My daughter shared that with me a few days ago, and even though it may sound cheesy at first, it makes a lot of sense.

So happy birthday to me!

Yay that.


19 comments:

nikki c said...

is today your birthday? happy birthday! if today isn't your birthday, happy birthday for whenever it is your birthday.

i totally failed the weenus test, too. *sigh*

Joanna said...

Yes, July 11th IS my birthday. Thank you, Nikki!

Suds to Love said...

Happy Birthday Joanna! I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

dcyrill said...

Hey Fellow Cancerian :)

Happy Birthday to you Joanna. My birthday is Sunday 7/13. I took that test I will not tell you the results because you will be mad at me. LOL

I am will be 36 and gravity is definitely not my friend. Actually it has never been my friend. But remember as we age, we get better.

nahiacreations said...

Happy Birthday!

Heidi said...

Happy Birthday! Great post = ) I was just thinking about getting older today too. It was a huge blow to my ego when I stopped getting carded. WAH!

Gravity and children have been hard on this body...and that's all I have to say about that!

Carrie ~ Gigi said...

Happy Birthday Joanna!!! You are just too funny, and I do love visiting your blog~ it really is full of entertaining bits & pieces...

Doing anything special for the b-day?

Anne-Marie said...

Hilarious. Never had heard that term either. I guess that shows my age too!

And, eating your veggies is awesome. One of my goals for the quarter was to eat 3 apples a week ... great minds think alike =)

Happy Birthday!

Heidi said...

p.s. you have a long way to go before you're actually old = )

koinonia community said...

I like the 'present' thing. I think I instantly got old the day I sold my last motorcycle. Or maybe it was when I decided the next one would be electric start because I am too lazy too kick start and no longer care if I look cool anyways. But I can still roll my eyes and say 'WHAT E ver'.

Ignore the elbow test! Just drink more water. I think it is a hydration thing. I'm not sure, but it sounds good! =D

Emmy said...

Happy Birthday! We share the same day - I'm a 7/11 baby too.I hope you do well with all of your goals for the year. :)

sherrieg said...

Well, happy birthday to you! Fitting, as I popped something in today's mail for you... ;)

Kelli said...

Great post! I laughed but then was so grossed out with myself after trying it, let's just the results were disappointing! Which is making me DREAD my bday on Saturday. :) :)

Happy Belated Birthday fellow Cancer!!

Joanna said...

Happy Birthday to all you Cancer friends!! Who knew there were so many of us loyal, caring and sensitives all in one area!

Kim said...

Happy belated b-day!

It's all a state of mind. I've met an awful lot of young "old" people.

Rock on, lady!

Anonymous said...

FROM YOUR MOM, YOU ARE STILL SO BEAUTIFUL AND GIRL-LIKE. YOU ARE 38 AND LOOK 12. AND TO ME YOU WILL ALWAYS BE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BEING ALIVE. LUV, LUV, LUV ME

Carrie ~ Gigi said...

Back again because this is too darn funny...I did the test~ & it's confirmed what I already know~ I'm old... thanks Ms. Nina :))))))

Hugs

lizzyl said...

Happy Belated Birthday! This post made me laugh. I totally failed, too. :)

Soap Making Essentials said...

Great blog....made me laugh about my age... which is old, as I too failed the weenus test! My husband tells me I'm sexy (like he's going to say anything else) and my kids say I look like a "MOM"...reality bites!! Happy belated Birthday.